Rejoice & Weep

This is not my story, this is God's story. All the glory goes to him. Shortly after I was born, my parents divorced. I can't really say it shattered my world, because I was only a baby- I didn't know any different. I still don't. Someday's I feel like maybe it was my fault, or I was suppose to save the marriage, but didn't. That a lot to put on your shoulders at a young age. To this day I don't know why they got a divorce, and I think I'm okay with that. Soon after they got divorced I was diagnosed with a disease called Neurofibromatosis. (I'll just refer to it as NF). In short, this is a disease that causes tumors to grow on the nerves of the body. The doctors ha run tests, and they found an optic glioma (optic nerve tumor). I went through 18 long months of chemotherapy. I do not remember much of it, and I'm grateful for that. The effects of it didn't really stop there, the tumor left me blind in my right eye, and because I went through c

Sip, sip, sip Gulp, gulp, gulp Why do people drink you? They lose control. You hurt families. You destroy lives. You kill. But yet you are so glorified. I do not understand what it is. I want to understand why people do it. Why do people sip, sip, and then drive. I get they try to hide their demons, but they just create more. You are the enemy. You hurt me. You pained me. I wish people would not buy you. I wish people would understand the pain you cause. I will never forgive you for what you did. I will never forget what you did. Sip, sip, sip Gulp, gulp, gulp

I know I don't blog very often. I know. For awhile I've been trying to figure why, or why I haven't posted a YouTube channel video in over month. Is it because I'm uninspired? Maybe. Is it because I'm too busy? Quite possibly. Or, is it because I feel like i have to conform into societies expectations set for me and my channel/blog? For sure. I feel like a lot of us are scared to veer off of what is normal, or what is expected of us. I think a lot of the time we are just placed into the mold, and like a liquid we take shape of our container, and we aren't going anywhere. But, you, or I should not have to worry about this. Nor should we have to do what is the norm or expected. We were given free will by God, and along as those things don't surpass or values, or morals then who the heck cares what we do? Next time you want to do something that you don't think it would be expected, don't worry about it. If it makes you happy the DO IT. Remem

Sometimes in life we feel inadequate like we don't quite meet the mark, but in reality we are made perfect by God the one who,loves us the most. Even if you don't believe in God, or a superpower being you can still take this message for what it's worth and apply it to your own life. It can be really hard to not feel good enough or worthy enough to achieve something you desperately want. It's even harder when people are tearing you down, and saying those things. Let me tell you something about me, all my life I have felt like I wasn't good enough for anything. I felt worthless, and most of the time I think I wont achieve anything. That's really hard to put on yourself, but for me, those words weren't just coming from me, they were coming from a lot of people around me. For awhile I listened to them, and it tore me apart each and every single day, until I said enough is enough and I let those things motivate and push me even harder. Don't get me w

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep" Romans 12:15 This verse is one of my favorite verses of the bible, because it is so true in our everyday lives. I feel in this society we always compare our lives to others. We always push them down when they are happy, or tell them you have it worse when they are going through a storm. What we should be doing is when someone is happy-celebrate them, and with them. If someone is in a time of sadness, we need to be there for them and empathize. We need to stop focusing on us so much, and realize there are other people in this world that go through highs and lows too. This isn't to say that your highs and lows don't matter, but it shouldn't separate people. These times should bring us closer as people as a society. I get so sad for those who think they are in this all by them selves, and that their feelings are diminished, or put down. I've had times where I was going through a rough time,

Love is such an interesting thing to me. Everyone describes it in different ways, and everyone looks at love in a different way. The internet defines love as "an intense feeling of deep affection". But, is that always the case? I think love is an individual feeling. It can be an attraction, a force, a deep care, a general feeling. How do we differentiate between liking something, and loving something? Do we just know? Or is it something more. Love is a funny thing. Do we really have to love our self, before we love others? I don't think so. People experience love in many different ways. For some it's time, for some its words, others it's gifts, and some just want a warm embrace. I do not think there can be just one definition for love. I think we have to experience it for our self, and then figure it out. We have to experience the flutters in our heart, the heart break when in it ends. The excitemen

Everyone always asks me why I want to be a teacher. They don't get paid very much, and are treated like crap most of the time. For me, it's not about the money, or the way kids treat me, it's all about the impact I could make on future leaders, doctors, or other future teachers. For me, I could care less about money, it's all about the connection I can make, and the lessons I can teach. I want to be a teacher, so that I can be that person that pushes someone, and believes in them. I want to show them someone does care, and someone is rooting for them. I know I can be a good teacher. While I have been in high school, teachers have made some of the biggest impacts on me, and I'm forever grateful. They have pushed me, believed in me,and have shown me some of the deepest care, and I want to be like with my future students. I'm not made for sitting at a desk all day, wasting my life away while everyone else is out changing lives. It's not bad if you sit at a des

Senior year. Also known as the year of many lasts. The last football game, school dance, sport practice, last meeting for a club you've grown to love, last passing time, and last time your friends are all together (maybe). Senior year is full of bittersweet moments. So many new adventures, and so many of adventures coming to the end. I've always known that my time is almost up, but I don't think I truly understood until Friday night. The Student Council lock-in, seniors gave advice and shared stories, tears were shed, and hugs were given. I never realized how many people have changed my life throughout my high school career. I only have a few months left, and that is so crazy to me. I have spent 4 years within those walls, and within a matter of a couple months it will all be over. It is such a odd feeling, and indescribable feeling. I'm sad, excited, scared, and so many feelings are within me. When they say Senior year goes by fast, they are not lying. Even just high