Why I can't be touched...

First of all, the things being said in this blog are very sensitive, and may be triggering to some. Please proceed with caution, and if you cannot emotionally handle reading this, please click out, I will completely understand, and I hope you have a beautiful day.
It is currently 9:47 at night, and I felt lead to write this. Maybe it may help me, or even someone else. Either way...I’m good.
They say it take 7 years for every cell in your body to be replaced. I cannot wait until I reach the 7 year mark.


I don’t want to give what happened to me a title, because I have no idea what to classify it as. I’m also not going to share when this happened. I do not really want to share that, so that this does not have negative reactions,
Basically I had a male my age touch me, grab me in inappropriate spots, say sexual things to me, and eventually stuck a pencil down my jeans. This male did not have my permission to do these things. He just did them. It went on for a few months, and it’s probably my fault. I did not tell someone sooner, or maybe I didn’t tell him “no” enough. Maybe it was because I was the quiet girl, so I was an easy target. I don’t think I’ll ever know why he did those things.
Once adults did find out, they didn't handle the way I would’ve wanted, but again I was quiet. At that time in my life I got walked on.All he had to do was write me a note, and tell me he was “sorry”. He may have meant it, or maybe not.
For a while, and sometimes now I couldn’t see him without shaking, crying, or just feeling uncomfortable.
Going back to one of my previous statements, it is not my fault. It is not your fault. No one should touch you or make you feel uncomfortable.
I felt worthless, like no guy would ever treat me right. I still can’t be touched without laughing out of comfortableness to cope. many people think it’s funny, but those who are very close with me know the truth.
If anyone has ever touched you inappropriately, or in a way that hurt you...IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU DID NOT DESERVE IT. You are your own person and there is people out there that can help, that will help, and care about you. You are beautiful, loved, and can get through this.
You can get through this lovelies.
If you want to ask anything, or need to talk comment down below or email me @ ratliffmorgan@yahoo.com.
Or even better check out these hotlines:
Depression Hotline- (1-630-482-9696)
Suicide Hotline- (1-800-784-8433)
LifeLine- (1-800-273-8255)
Rape and Sexual assault- (1-800-656-4673)
It may be scary, but sometimes it’s needed.

You are beautiful, loved, amazing, and so worth this life.~Morgan

Comments

  1. UnknownDecember 28, 2015 at 4:26 PM

    You are right. No one has a right to do these things to you. You are brave, and strong, and a fighter. You are making a difference. I am here for you my beautiful girl!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MorganDecember 28, 2015 at 4:30 PM

      Thank you, this is from a time that is so sensitive to talk about. Love ya mama duck.

      Delete

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