Update: Sometimes Life isn't all Sunshine and Roses....

Sometimes when I wake up, I wake up in a very dark place; and lately that has been happening basically everyday. When bad things happen they seem to hit me one after another, after another, after another. I've got to tell you, You get kind of sick of it after awhile, and eventually you almost feel numb. I want to cry, but I can't. I want to at least pretend to be happy, but I can't even do that. I don't want to seem like an attention seeker, but I literally have nothing left of me left. The only thing that I am holding on to is God, and the people I have in my life.
I have little motivation to do anything...even my school work. Which if you knew me, you would know that is completely and utterly un like me. I have no idea where these feelings are coming from. I mean I have my guesses, but you know? I'm stressed out with school, I'm giving it my all, but my scores aren't showing that. There is a bunch going on with me medically, and there is only so much I can take. I just want to give up at this point. There is other stuff going on. There are voices in my head making me feel unwanted, not good enough, unloved, and worthless. I feel like I'm fighting a battle I will never win. 
People think I have it all together, they think that I'm okay. I must be a pretty good actress, because on the inside my wall is crumbled, my heart is in pieces, and my emotions are all over the place.
I can honestly say I battle depression, and anxiety. I have seen the world differently than a lot of people. I wouldn't want people to go through what I went through, but I just wish people could understand what I went through, because it gets a little lonely.
I keep pushing through, because that's what I gotta do. I have to push through the voices, the insecurities, the struggles, because I can't give up. I have come to far to give up now. I have overcome and pushed through way to much other crap to give up now. I have to give it to God, and TALK about it, because I can't do it alone. Much love to everyone~Morgan

Comments

  1. UnknownDecember 28, 2015 at 4:23 PM

    I hear you and i get it. I promise you...God has a plan for you. You are a beautiful gift He has given to us. For those that know you, our lives are better because you are in it.

    ReplyDelete

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